ಸೋಮಾರೀ ಪುರಾಣ……….

• ಕ್ರೀಮ್ ಬಿಸ್ಕಟ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕ್ರೀಮ್ ಇರುತ್ತೆ…..... ಆಧ್ರೆ….ಬೆಣ್ಣೆ ಬಿಸ್ಕಟ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಣ್ಣೆ ಇರುತ್ತಾ????????????????

• ನೀನ್ ಬುಸ್ಸಲ್ ಹತ್ತಿದ್ರುನು….ಬುಸ್ ನಿನ್ನ ಮೇಲ್ ಹತ್ತಿದ್ರುನು….ಟಿಕೆಟ್ ತಗೊಳೋನು ನೀನೆ…..

• ಟಿಕೆಟ್ ತಗೊಂಡು ಒಳಗೆ ಹೋಗೋದು "ಸಿನಿಮಾ ಥಿಯೇಟರ್"…ಒಳಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಟಿಕೆಟ್ ತಗೋಳೋದು ಆಪರೇಶನ್"ಥಿಯೇಟರ್"…..

• ಸೆಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ 'ಬ್ಯಾಲೆನ್ಸ್' ಇಲ್ಲ ಆಂಧ್ರೆ 'ಕಾಲ್' ಮಾಡೋಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗೋಲ್ಲ….ಮನುಷ್ಯನಿಗೆ 'ಕಾಲ್' ಇಲ್ಲ ಆಂಧ್ರೆ 'ಬ್ಯಾಲೆನ್ಸ್' ಮಾಡೋಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗೋಲ್ಲ

• ಟ್ರೈನ್ ಎಸ್ಟೆ ಫಾಸ್ಟಾಗಿ ಹೊಧ್ರುನುವೆ, ಕೊನೆಯ ಬೋಗಿ ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಬರೋದು

• ಬಸ್ ಹೋದ್ರೂ 'ಬುಸ್ ಸ್ಟ್ಯಾಂಡ್' ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಇರುತ್ತೆ, ಆದ್ರೆ ಸೈಕಲ್ ಹೋದ್ರೆ 'ಸೈಕಲ್ ಸ್ಟ್ಯಾಂಡ್' ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತೆ......

• ನಾಯಿಗೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಕಾಲುಗಳೇ ಇರಬಹುದು; ಆದ್ರೂ ಅದುಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾಲ ಮೇಲೆ ಕಾಲ್ ಹಾಕಿ ಕೂರೋಕೆ ಆಗುತ್ತಾ?

• ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ಕಚ್ಚುದ್ರೆ "ಆನೆ ಕಾಲ್" ಬರುತ್ತೆ..; ಆದ್ರೆ ಆನೆ ಕಚ್ಚುದ್ರೆ "ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ಕಾಲ್" ಬರುತ್ತಾ?

• 10 ಇರುವೆ ಸೇರಿ ಒಂದು ಆನೆ ನ ಕಚ್ ಬಹುದು; ಆದ್ರೆ 10 ಆನೆ ಸೇರಿ ಒಂದ್ ಇರುವೆನ ಕಚ್ಹೋಕೆ ಆಗುತ್ತಾ?

Fake But Nice:)

Once a Smoker was smoking at airport.........A gentleman came & asked him. How much do you smoke a day?

Smoker : Why are you asking such question?

Gentleman replied : If you had collected that money instead of smoking,the plane which is in front of you, would have been yours.

Smoker asked that gentleman : Do you smoke? Gentleman:-No. Smoker asked:- is that plane belongs to you? Gentleman replied:- No.

Smoker:-Thanks for your kind advice,but that plane is mine

[Smoker's Name - Vijay Mallya]

Moral of the Story : Unnecessary advice is injurious to health

Intelligent Husband....

A man and his wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance.

ಮದುವೆಗೆ ಮುಂಚೆ...

ಅವನು: ಅಬ್ಬಾ!!!
ಅವಳು: ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟಿರಬೇಕಾ?
ಅವನು: ಇಲ್ಲ!!! ಆ ರೀತಿ ಯೋಚನೆಯೂ ಮಾಡಬೇಡ.
ಅವಳು: ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸುತ್ತೀಯಾ?
ಅವನು: ಸಂದೇಹವೇ ಬೇಡ... ಹಿಂದೆಯೂ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ, ಮುಂದೆಯೂ ಮಾಡುವೆ.
ಅವಳು: ನನಗೆ ಎಂದಾದರೂ ಮೋಸ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೀಯಾ?
ಅವನು: ಇಲ್ಲ!!! ಈ ರೀತಿ ಯಾಕೆ ಕೇಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀಯಾ?
ಅವಳು: ನನಗೆ ಮುತ್ತು ಕೊಡುತ್ತೀಯಾ?
ಅವನು: ಪ್ರತಿ ಅವಕಾಶಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾಯುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತೇನೆ.
ಅವಳು: ನನಗೆ ಹೊಡೆಯುತ್ತೀಯಾ?
ಅವನು: ಇಲ್ಲ!!! ನಿನಗೇನಾದರೂ ಹುಚ್ಚು ಹಿಡಿದಿದೆಯಾ?
ಅವಳು: ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನನ್ನು ನಂಬಬಹುದಾ?
ಅವನು: ಹಾ...
ಅವಳು: ಪ್ರಿಯತಮ!!!

ಮದುವೆಯ ನಂತರ...
ಬರೆದಿರುವುದನ್ನೇ ಕೆಳಗಿನಿಂದ ಮೇಲಕ್ಕೆ ಓದಿ...:)

Missing Husband

A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:
Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain,
height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes,
blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken,
he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls,
he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.
The woman started crying

Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Santa Singh Knows Everybody

Santa was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called him bluff, "OK, Santa how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Santa and boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Santa! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Santa's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Santa that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Santa says.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes, I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

And off they go. At the White House, George W. spots Santa on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Santa, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Santa, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Santa. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Santa and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Santa says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And Santa disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Santa emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

By the time Santa returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Santa asks, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Santa Singh?"

Ultimate Love Letter…

By a Programmer...

Sweetheart ,

I`ve seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time I`ve been lonely; this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.

My life is an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless.

You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well.

Your smile is so delightful; it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.

When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results. /*which I never experienced before.*/

With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are linked together, I¡¯ll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life.

Also don`t bother about the firewall which may be created by our parents as I¡¯ve strong hacking capabilities by which I`ll ultimately break their security passwords and make them agree for our marriage .

I anticipate that nobody has already logged in to your database so that my connect script will fail.
And its all but certain that if
this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery.

Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox. Error free...









Regards,
Software Pogrammer
Today This company
Tommorrow That Company
But always want ur company!