JOKieee...

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story:

Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers:

Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that.

Letter to GOD !!!

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God , INDIA , they decided to forward
it to the President of the India as a joke.

The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.

The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy,
and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God,
which read:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed that you sent it through the "Rashtrapati Bhavan in New Delhi", and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 as tax ... "

ಸೋಮಾರೀ ಪುರಾಣ……….

• ಕ್ರೀಮ್ ಬಿಸ್ಕಟ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕ್ರೀಮ್ ಇರುತ್ತೆ…..... ಆಧ್ರೆ….ಬೆಣ್ಣೆ ಬಿಸ್ಕಟ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಣ್ಣೆ ಇರುತ್ತಾ????????????????

• ನೀನ್ ಬುಸ್ಸಲ್ ಹತ್ತಿದ್ರುನು….ಬುಸ್ ನಿನ್ನ ಮೇಲ್ ಹತ್ತಿದ್ರುನು….ಟಿಕೆಟ್ ತಗೊಳೋನು ನೀನೆ…..

• ಟಿಕೆಟ್ ತಗೊಂಡು ಒಳಗೆ ಹೋಗೋದು "ಸಿನಿಮಾ ಥಿಯೇಟರ್"…ಒಳಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಟಿಕೆಟ್ ತಗೋಳೋದು ಆಪರೇಶನ್"ಥಿಯೇಟರ್"…..

• ಸೆಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ 'ಬ್ಯಾಲೆನ್ಸ್' ಇಲ್ಲ ಆಂಧ್ರೆ 'ಕಾಲ್' ಮಾಡೋಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗೋಲ್ಲ….ಮನುಷ್ಯನಿಗೆ 'ಕಾಲ್' ಇಲ್ಲ ಆಂಧ್ರೆ 'ಬ್ಯಾಲೆನ್ಸ್' ಮಾಡೋಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗೋಲ್ಲ

• ಟ್ರೈನ್ ಎಸ್ಟೆ ಫಾಸ್ಟಾಗಿ ಹೊಧ್ರುನುವೆ, ಕೊನೆಯ ಬೋಗಿ ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಬರೋದು

• ಬಸ್ ಹೋದ್ರೂ 'ಬುಸ್ ಸ್ಟ್ಯಾಂಡ್' ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಇರುತ್ತೆ, ಆದ್ರೆ ಸೈಕಲ್ ಹೋದ್ರೆ 'ಸೈಕಲ್ ಸ್ಟ್ಯಾಂಡ್' ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತೆ......

• ನಾಯಿಗೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಕಾಲುಗಳೇ ಇರಬಹುದು; ಆದ್ರೂ ಅದುಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾಲ ಮೇಲೆ ಕಾಲ್ ಹಾಕಿ ಕೂರೋಕೆ ಆಗುತ್ತಾ?

• ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ಕಚ್ಚುದ್ರೆ "ಆನೆ ಕಾಲ್" ಬರುತ್ತೆ..; ಆದ್ರೆ ಆನೆ ಕಚ್ಚುದ್ರೆ "ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ಕಾಲ್" ಬರುತ್ತಾ?

• 10 ಇರುವೆ ಸೇರಿ ಒಂದು ಆನೆ ನ ಕಚ್ ಬಹುದು; ಆದ್ರೆ 10 ಆನೆ ಸೇರಿ ಒಂದ್ ಇರುವೆನ ಕಚ್ಹೋಕೆ ಆಗುತ್ತಾ?

Fake But Nice:)

Once a Smoker was smoking at airport.........A gentleman came & asked him. How much do you smoke a day?

Smoker : Why are you asking such question?

Gentleman replied : If you had collected that money instead of smoking,the plane which is in front of you, would have been yours.

Smoker asked that gentleman : Do you smoke? Gentleman:-No. Smoker asked:- is that plane belongs to you? Gentleman replied:- No.

Smoker:-Thanks for your kind advice,but that plane is mine

[Smoker's Name - Vijay Mallya]

Moral of the Story : Unnecessary advice is injurious to health

Intelligent Husband....

A man and his wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance.

ಮದುವೆಗೆ ಮುಂಚೆ...

ಅವನು: ಅಬ್ಬಾ!!!
ಅವಳು: ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟಿರಬೇಕಾ?
ಅವನು: ಇಲ್ಲ!!! ಆ ರೀತಿ ಯೋಚನೆಯೂ ಮಾಡಬೇಡ.
ಅವಳು: ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸುತ್ತೀಯಾ?
ಅವನು: ಸಂದೇಹವೇ ಬೇಡ... ಹಿಂದೆಯೂ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ, ಮುಂದೆಯೂ ಮಾಡುವೆ.
ಅವಳು: ನನಗೆ ಎಂದಾದರೂ ಮೋಸ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೀಯಾ?
ಅವನು: ಇಲ್ಲ!!! ಈ ರೀತಿ ಯಾಕೆ ಕೇಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀಯಾ?
ಅವಳು: ನನಗೆ ಮುತ್ತು ಕೊಡುತ್ತೀಯಾ?
ಅವನು: ಪ್ರತಿ ಅವಕಾಶಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾಯುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತೇನೆ.
ಅವಳು: ನನಗೆ ಹೊಡೆಯುತ್ತೀಯಾ?
ಅವನು: ಇಲ್ಲ!!! ನಿನಗೇನಾದರೂ ಹುಚ್ಚು ಹಿಡಿದಿದೆಯಾ?
ಅವಳು: ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನನ್ನು ನಂಬಬಹುದಾ?
ಅವನು: ಹಾ...
ಅವಳು: ಪ್ರಿಯತಮ!!!

ಮದುವೆಯ ನಂತರ...
ಬರೆದಿರುವುದನ್ನೇ ಕೆಳಗಿನಿಂದ ಮೇಲಕ್ಕೆ ಓದಿ...:)

Missing Husband

A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:
Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain,
height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes,
blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken,
he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls,
he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.
The woman started crying

Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!!!!!!!!